I miss the old Trevor

It is really sad, it is only once in a while that I get to see the "old" Trevor. Now a days, he seems so sad. He will go and hang out with his friends and being doing stuff but deep down he is different. I pray everyday that he will come back to me but I know he is forever changed. We all are. I really worry that nothing is going to help him. I try to keep positive and know something is going to work. I know he worries about this too. I think deep down I have given up on Enbrel. I think he would see some relief by now. I just don't know what is next. Humira? Remicade? I don't know. I keep telling him that if is not Enbrel that is going to help that it is something. I told him we want him to be the exact opposite of where he is now. We want him to have more good days then bad.
Insurance is really becoming an issue now. We have to get better insurance. I am trying to work on that.
In the mean time,I just enjoy the small glimpse of the old Trevor when he comes out.

Still waiting

Well we are on the 7th week of Enbrel and Trevor does not have any relief. It is so discouraging. I really thought we would begin school and be much better. Trevor is counting the weeks and knows that he should be feeling better. I just tell him to give it more time and that sometimes it takes longer in some kids.
Yesterday he was outside playing with friends and he said his knee gave out and hurt really bad. He said it was a different kind of pain. He took a warm bath and we watched it. It was really swollen. When he got up this morning, he said it felt much better. This afternoon, it was not as swollen. This brings up the question I always ask, "Can he do damage to himself by doing too much physical exercise?". He does not understand stop or slow down. I have heard so many different things regarding this and think that the true answer is no one knows!
I just don't want him to lose hope.
I am thankful that our school does not have stairs, neither does his high school. The stairs would not work for him. (These days, I have to find "good" in the little things).
We have applied to attend the family Camp Boggy Creek weekend. I hope to hear from them soon!
I wish I had a more positive post...one day...

Will we ever be "normal" again?

Trevor cried last night because of the pain. He is starting to question the Enbrel and when/if it will start working. He told me he now thinks he is willing to give up all the fun things he used to be able to do so he is no longer in pain. So sad. :( I tried to help him think of all the things he can do without hurting but I am amazed how that list seems to be getting shorter. Now he says it hurts his back to sit on the wall to fish. Will this ever stop?? It really seems that Trevor has gotten worse. We always said it was because he has been more active but I don't know. We are on week 4 of Enbrel. I am really nervous for school to start!!